Oct 6, 2010

"I'm not a witch.

I think you look fabulous, babe! Hair's a little flat, but the plain everywoman look comes right through.

"I'm nothing you've heard."

Dearie, you're sounding a little Orwellian. But never mind and incidentally I never said anything. It's just between us. Okay? Everything that happened on that altar and the baby sacrifice thing, I didn't say a word. By the way have you ever heard my Boris Karloff imitation? "Monsta? I'm not a monsta."

"I am you."

I know you are, babe, but can I say this? Don't take this too personally, but the outfit, the black whatever it is and the black background kinda reminds me of someone out of The Crucible. Can't you take some of that campaign money and get something decent? Or else Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. You don't want to look like that!

"None of us are perfect."

No, no she had more glamor and humor than you do but that's okay. And you know I love your pouty, kookie look. Plus, I'm know what you're saying, I get the code words, this is something the Koch-head brothers dreamed up, right, 'to take away the sins of the world', to get the common man in the public mind, and what you're really trying to say is that you did pleasure yourself. Right? 'You did have sex with that woman', as it were. Yourself, I mean. But I'm not saying a word. That's okay. Nobody is going to burn you at the stake, or put you in the ground up to your shoulders and stone you to death for committing adultery with yourself. What are you kidding? Are you happy now?

"None of us can be happy when when we see what's all around us."

I'm sick about it and I'm sick of it. I hate these people...

"Politicians who think spending, trading favors and back room deals are the ways to stay in office."

Absolutely. Right on. And I'm just so happy they let Gene Cranick's house burn to the ground. Along with three dogs and a cat. These are the malingerers Mark Levin is always talking about. The layabouts and thugs, the union types. No, this is the kind of lesson we need to teach people. Now some may call it revenge; I call it what's 'meat and right so to do'. You want government, we're gonna give you government. We make government the old fashion way, as John Houseman used to say in those Smith Barney ads, "We earn it." By the way whatever happened to Smith Barney?

"I'll go to Washington and do what you'd do."

Thank you! Finally! Thank you. Someone is making sense. By the way did you hear about the clown in Rio or someplace. A real clown and the people voted him in to office. Why? Because he was absolutely genuine. He said, 'I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know anything about politics, but I'll just go in there and tell you what I see.' But now here's the point: here's what I'd do, if I were you, I'd go to Washington and just kill everybody in government. Just shoot the bastards. You know what I mean? Just take no hostages. And then I'd have a big lavish party like Ronald Reagan used to have. You know what I mean? Betsy Bloomingdales, Nancy fancy. Those were our people weren't they?

"I am you."

I know you are, babe. I love it when you say that. I'm you too. We're just all each other. I love it. And the real America is just around the corner.

1 comment:

Less is More said...

OMFG that is a hilarious ad. This is SNL at its old finest. Is this really her, is this really real? Seriously? Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

Well I approve of YOUR message, but not necessarily that witch's. Not that there's anything wrong with being a witch. Look at Glinda for gods sake. That should be her role model. Unless you read/see Wicked, in which case, nevermind.